BY BELLA TRINKO AND LYNNE INYOUE
STAFF WRITERS
Manipulation is probably something everyone has experience with. Individuals who use guilt, pressure or other methods to take advantage of people to seize power. Manipulators will make you doubt yourself and use you to benefit themselves. It seems simple, but people like this are surprisingly hard to spot, or, if you do spot them, hard to acknowledge. Part of a manipulator’s power relies on their deception of their victim, using tactics to make themselves seem innocent.
That’s why, the first step to recognizing manipulation is awareness. If you find a person exploiting your weakness, convincing you to do something you don’t want to do, and repeating the cycle, you should identify it as a problem. You, in this scenario, do not have to be alone, you can regroup and can talk to friends or family to receive a second perspective. It’s important to remember that everyone deserves to be treated with respect, and if someone isn’t treating you as such, that is not your fault. You shouldn’t blame yourself, and make sure to remember that you are not the problem here.
Some traits that manipulators have that can help you identify them are:
- One main one that we found in our research(as stated before) is that they will often use your weaknesses against you.
- They will often say one thing then another.
- They will make you feel guilty for something that wasn’t your fault.
- They will hardly ever take responsibility for their mistakes or actions.
- They almost always play the victim.
There are many other traits but from our research this seems to be the main signs/ traits.
After recognizing a manipulator, a solution would be to distance yourself. This distancing can be physical, as actively trying to avoid them, or emotional, as in realizing and reiterating their behavior is irrational and you deserve to be treated with respect. A more specific example, however, is using time to your advantage. A majority of manipulators expect and pressure you to respond to them right away, thus keeping a hold on your attention and time. Slowly, they up the stakes, expecting you to bend to their every request. This is why that just not responding or giving a noncommittal answer to a manipulator will help you distance yourself. They will often try to get you to depend on them as much as they can to gain power and control you.
Or, you can say simply say no, too. Sometimes it’s hard to do so, or it feels rude, so you feel guilty. Communication is important, however, and part of that is knowing how to say no, kindly but firmly. Again, the most important point of this article, is that you deserve to be treated with respect. You shouldn’t let someone guilt you into doing something that you don’t want to do.
In conclusion, remember that you have rights and that you should be respected and treated kindly. This goes the other way too though, because you need to treat others (even people you don’t like) with the same respect and kindness you deserve. Thank you for reading our article and we hope it helps!
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